There have been more than twenty days with my blog left to it's own devices. No apologies. Busy having a half life which, you would assume would lead to fabulously interesting entries...but no! As for how I spent my perfect fall Sunday, I sewed a pair of pants for Alle and then turned Olivia's outgrown jeans into a purse. It was similar to a purse the girls had seen in American Eagle which they admiringly refered to as a "butt purse". I had one I had sewn myself in 1976. Who says I don't know how to have fun?
As for the rest of my day, well, I let the bits of the week slid into their proper niches and arrived at one conclusion. My ability to focus on whatever, um, what were we just talking about? Oh, yeah. Well, my ability to focus mirrors my ability to stay with myself in any given moment. Soooo all those times when actually feeling how it is to be me leads me to think about what my best friend in second grade is up to these days plays out in the bigger picture with things like me not finishing a story that I write. It's obvious to me that I am challenged by this focusing thing, otherwise the pile of dirty laundry insulating my basement wouldn't be so robust.
Actually, I arrived at another conclusion. I was thinking about Richard and how all the challenges of the communication at WS reflect the way he communicates with himself. Okay, so my choices are three: 1) Change the way R. communicates with himself, 2) realize that the communication there is what it is and if I don't like it I can leave, or 3) I can figure out a way to celebrate what it is. I've framed this conclusion within the context of work, but truly, this has everthing to do with my relationship to myself. I've spent so much time trying to improve myself and be a better person. I've read self-help books, kept journals, did all the homework. Underlying all this activity on my part is the belief that somehow I am not quite what I ought to be and with just a bit more work I might be okay. The truth is that I am. That's it. All the meditating, journaling, and map making of my authentic self are just activities that may help guide me deeper into the experience of being. So, the joke's on me. The way to be a better person is to do nothing and feel how I feel about being me, just as I am. Huh. I'll have to schedule some time for this on my 'to do' list.
Jennifer @ 8:03 PM link
Friday, October 04, 2002
Finally connected my blog to my web site. Still so much to do to make the whole thing work, but every day there's a little more connectivity. :)
Jennifer @ 8:27 AM link
Thursday, October 03, 2002
I went to see Aimee Mann last night at the Calvin Theater in Northampton, MA. It was such a joy to hear her perform. I was struck by the way her songs and her performance are such a direct expression of who she it. Also, she seemed to be having such a good time playing, it was like being invited to a party of people you've never met and unexpectedly having a really good time.
Jennifer @ 12:58 PM link
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
Deb told me a story about Julia (soon to be 7). Julia had been watching Animal Planet for months and suddenly stopped. One particular show that Julia loved aired an episode in which several sick pets were put to sleep. Although Julia had seen many animals lose their lives in other episodes, she connected differently with the concept of making the choice to end an animal's life. She abruptly gave up her routine of watching Animal Planet. Deb asked her daughter why the sudden disinterest. Her reply, "I'm sick of all the euthanasia." Yeah, Julia, me too.
Jennifer @ 3:48 PM link
